Home alone

I am home alone. My partner left this morning to visit his family and friends in PA. When I am home alone the rooms subside and the settle with a sigh. I hear the breathing of the fridge that taps. Our house is mine, for the time being, and I’m a kindly ruler, the only law is solitude. I can do anything I can. Walk around without thinking what he would think if he sees me walking nude. I can sing without worrying out of tune or lyrics. But the loneliness is the one torturing me. Hate, anger, frustration; How do I survive? Confusion, distraught, depression; Why even be alive? I sit alone now, all by myself with no one else. But do we know where people go, after their loneliness has got to them.

Letting Go

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path, and to set you free.
Love isn’t wrong, it’s never untrue; just broken in lies and twisted in you.

FAITH

Sometimes no matter how secure you are in someone’s arms and no matter how tightly you hold on to that person’s hand, you’ll find yourself falling dangerously in love with someone else. It’s hard to love someone who’s in love with someone else. You have to ignore the pain and swallow your pride just to be a friend. But that’s all worth it because sometimes friendship last longer than love. Losing you was the hardest thing in life. You told me that you would never get a chance later on, but baby, I am still going to try to get you back, no matter how hard I have to try. You will be mine. Now and Forever.

I'm confused

I’m so confused…I miss who you used to be when I first met you. What have you become? I never realized what I had before. Will you come back and be who I once knew? Why do I miss you so much? We were just friends. I had my chance with you, and still in love with my boyfriend as I was then, so why the hell do I miss you so much? What the hell does this mean? I’m so confused.

Morning Poem

Every morning the world is created. Under the orange sticks of the sun the heaped ashes of the night turn into leaves again and fasten themselves to the high branches --- and the ponds appear like black cloth on which are painted islands of summer lilies. If it is your nature to be happy you will swim away along the soft trails for hours, your imagination alighting everywhere. And if your spirit carries within it the thorn that is heavier than lead --- if it's all you can do to keep on trudging --- there is still somewhere deep within you a beast shouting that the earth is exactly what it wanted --- each pond with its blazing lilies is a prayer heard and answered lavishly, every morning, whether or not you have ever dared to be happy, whether or not you have ever dared to pray.

Sad Love

If i have the letters HRT, I could add E and A and get HEART or a U and get HURT, but to tell the truth I would much rather have a HEART with U in it and risk the inevitable HURT. Some break-ups are like broken mirrors. Its better to leave it shattered than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together. Why do i want him still, when there's nothing there? How to gonon with the rest of my life, to pretend I dont care? This should have been my time... It's over - it never began. I closed my eyes so much for so long and I no longer can. I just hope to sleep and never awaken. Nothing left in this world could replace what you have taken.

Allen Iverson is in PISTON

My bestfriend texted me the other day saying that AI got traded to PISTON. I didnt get a chance to actually check it for myself[too busy]. Today Stephen texted me saying that AI got traded. Luckily i am online and here i am checking whats up with the trading.
It is true that AI is now in PISTON team. I am so sad because i am so lovin' him. When we moved here in Denver i was very happy to find out that AI is now playing for Nuggets. Then after a year living here, he is being traded to a different team.
Based of the news i read; they said AI is very excited about the trade. I should be happy for him.
I cant wait to get my new PISTON JERSEY.
Good luck to you AI.
No matter where you are i am you avid fan..
Keep the spirit in you.

Roller Coaster Ride

Past few months something happened that i could not forget. My feeling have been on a roller coaster ride. Sometimes i could not understand why such things would happen to someone like me. I ask myself sometime where did i go wrong? So many questions yet few anwers.
All i want right now it to finish my school and see what lies ahead of me. Life is tough but life must go on.
Oh mr. kupido what should i do? wink*
Have a blessed day eveyrone.

Days gone by

These past few days i took a break from studying. I was out with friends celebrating Halloween and today i attended a baby shower down in Lakewood. Last friday, i got a call from a friend asking me to go with them to celebrate Halloween downtown Boulder. It was an okay halloween. Everybody were wearing costumes. The only thing i didnt like about that night was that; it was too crowded to even try to go in to a bar. At first we end up going to a club located in a hotel named St. Julien. They called that night the 'Salsa Night'. It was fun watching people dance. Few people asked me to dance but sad to say i do not know how to dance salsa. I didnt even bother trying coz i know how my feet works..left left left haha. We stayed there for half and hour then we walked our way to Seven on Pearl St. While on our way there, we saw bunch of CU students crossing the street naked. People were shouting, laughing and taking pictures. It was fun to watched those kids walk by us naked..haha. Lastnight, a friend invited me over to there house to just hang out and take some photos wearing halloween costume. Then we decided to visit Seven once again{Party Animal}. It was way different from friday; lastnight was quiet and not so crowded. We actually got to dance without bumping to people. Over all thats what happened to my weekend. Tomorrw is another day to face..